MATs outlined

1 initial over investment
2 inconsistent investment
3 put downs
4 manufactured reactions
5 artificial high social demand
6 self declared noble
7 never accountable
8 your self sabotage

1.0 initial over investment
1.1 define proper levels of investment
1.2 limit your own amount of initial investment
1.3 receive appropriate gifts with calm gratitude
1.4 reject inappropriate gifts
1.5 "I don't move that fast"
1.6 "we aren't at that level yet"
1.7 "stick around and you might find out"
1.8 "That's enough for now"
1.9 "I'm gonna save that topic for next time"
1.10 call your Top 5 first
1.11 journal out the fantasy
1.12 don't have sex just because you feel like it
1.13 people fall out of love faster than they fall in love
1.14 reality check the fantasy
1.15 "I am looking for a partner I can build with"
1.16 "That is too fast for me."

2.0 inconsistent investment
2.1 communicate your expectations (I'd love a text every morning)
2.2 be consistent with your investment
2.3 prioritize your goals first
2.4 invest in your social circle first
2.5 "I noticed a change..."
2.6 "I appreciate when you..."
2.7 "can I expect this next time?"
2.8 maintain your schedule
2.9 invest in your social circle
2.10 attain your goals
2.11 have regular "self care" days
2.12 "that is low investment"
2.13 "maybe you aren't ready."
2.14 "I'm ready to talk when you are"
2.15 "I want to be fair to you"
2.16 "Enjoy your freedom"

3.0 put downs
3.1 explore your insecurities
3.2 know your self doubts
3.3 heal old wounds
3.4 "that is unacceptable "
3.5 "I do not joke that way"
3.6 "you can stop that now"
3.7 "if that is what you think of me then I suggest you evaluate why you still talk to me"
3.8 "thank you for bringing it to my attention that you think so low of me"
3.9 "your attack has been noted"
3.10 "are you deliberately putting me down?"
3.11 "please write that down for future reference "
3.12 "I am aware of my flaws and I am still worthy of respect "
3.13 focus on self improvement
3.14 get feedback from others
3.15 accept your mistakes
3.16 "that was uncalled for"

4.0 manufactured reactions
4.1 discover your triggers
4.2 learn nonverbal signs
4.2 observe behaviors
4.4 embrace that your emotions are personalized messages
4.5 calm is an ability
4.6 situation analysis
4.7 "how do you expect me to react"
4.8 "what reaction are you trying for? "
4.9 "in the past how have others reacted to this behavior? "
4.10 "I'm confused"
4.11 "we both need time to process"
4.12 restate their actions
4.13 "that was rude"
4.14 "I willnot take responsibility for your actions here"
4.15 "I respect my right to feel differently than you"
4.16 "please clarify"

5.0 artificial high social demand
5 1 cultivate your social circle
5.2 keep your hobbies
5.3 want respect not attention
5.4 refuse to live a secret
5.5 fill your calendar on your own
5.6 value being valued
5.7 feelings of envious jealousy mean you think you are lacking somewhere
5.8 FOMO
5.9 keep your integrity
5.10 "I don't try to convince people of my worth"
5.11 "I am not an object that you can compare"
5.12 "I am going to leave you to your journey"
5.13 "If you still need validation from others, I get it. I no longer play that game."
5.14 figure out how you are 1 of a kind and can't ever be better than or worse than another
5.15 "I will leave you to your chase"
5.16 "you are free to choose how you spend your time and with whom"

6.0 self declared noble
6.1 what ways do you feel most noble?
6.2 what behaviors would be appauling to you?
6.3 "we can agree to disagree"
6.4 "while my views are different from yours, they are still valid"
6.5 "when did you decide that your way was the best way?"
6.6 "is that subtle judgment I am hearing?"
6.7 "that is arrogant"
6.8 "no need to talk down to me. We are both capable of respectful conversation "
6.9 "you are shameless when you belittle others"
6.10 "is that normal in your world?"
6.11 "that sounds like superiority to me"
6.12 "who granted you superiority?"
6.13 "is it possible that you are projecting your own insecurities? "
6.14 "most people are fully involved with figuring out their lives"
6.15 "we are all learning"
6.16 "bull shit"

7.0 never accountable
7.1 "In the Future..."
7.2 "Could you clarify..."
7.3 "that's on you"
7.4 "I will not enable this toxic behavior"
7.5 you make a change in behavior- they adjust
7.6 "the real win here will be when you acknowledge your part in this"
7.7 "these events did not happen on their own"
7.8 "I see what you did there"
7.9 "your behavior effects others "
7.10 "do not give your power away- you did this"
7.11"i have zero tolerance for blameshifting"
7.12 "express your deeper feelings "
7.13 "this behavior is emotional avoidance"
7.14 "your drama was already in progress before I got here"
7.15 "that is a fixed mindset. Try switching to a growth mindset"
7.16 "stop and think"

8.0 your self sabotage
8.1 what brings you intense pleasure?
8.2 self isolation
8.3 question yourself- but only for your future Self
8.4 keep learning
8.5 stay engaged with life
8.6 physically weak
8.7 financially weak
8.8 believing you are unattractive
8.9 changing to appease
8.10 tolerating toxic behaviors
8.11 the power of creating other choices
8.12 Be responsible for yourself
8.13 slowly add change to the familiar
8.14 in what areas are you choosing to stay stuck?
8.15 say NO then release your guilt
8.16 they won't change unless they have to. Stop enabling.