Potty Training
As my son nears 6 months on the 10th, today (April 8th, 2010) I am reading up on the subject of toilet training.
When you use diapers on children they become desensitized to the process of peeing/pooping and never form the physical-mental bond to the muscles that allow control of elimination.
This fact really hit me.
I have memories of being very young yet 'old' for still wetting my bed.
My father would put my urine stained mattress out on the side of the garage for the 'whole' neighborhood to see what a 'bad' child I was when I did wet the bed. Plus he 'spanked' me.
One year I got a waterbed. I loved it because it had a cubby under it that I would hang out in. At this time I still wet the bed.
My parents then got a mat that they told me I had to lay on. When it sensed moisture it would send an electric shock through the mat. To put it mildly- those shocks hurt. It went off sometimes even when I was dry.
The torture did nothing to help me strengthen my pelvic floor muscles so I still wet the bed. The shocks left red welts on my lower back, butt, and thighs.
My parents didn't care that it hurt me.
It got to the point where I got mild anxiety attacks at the thought of sleeping at night on that mat. The pain, the humiliation, and the beatings were… traumatic.
That is until the day I snuck sheets into my room. I remember laying there with my heart racing. Laying ever so still… terrified of being shocked again even when dry. The house grew quiet. I waited for a bit longer, trying not to move (which was really hard to do on a waterbed). Finally I summoned the courage to roll off the mat (I found that to be the best way not to get shocked).
You see, my father would come in early each morning and run his hand under the mat to be sure it was dry. (When I first got the mat I had simply flopped the mat off the edge of the bed. After a few beatings I stopped and just dealt with the pain of the mat.) I took the sheets out, 'un' made my bed, flopped the mat over the edge, and put the sheet down. I slept well for the first time in a long time.
When I heard an alarm go off (I don't remember who's but it wasn't mine) I very quickly took the wet sheet and dried the waterbed mat. I put the wet sheets under the bed, remade the bed, flopped the mat back on, and ever so slowly rolled on it. Usually just minutes before my father came in to do his inspection.
Since I did my own laundry it was really pretty easy to mix the urine soaked sheet in with my own clothes. And so it went until my father was convinced that I had stopped wetting the bed.
The truth is that I wet the bed well into my teens. I didn't fully gain control of my pelvic floor muscles until after I had gotten my drivers permit.
So here I am at 25 years old and for the first time realizing that I'm not retarded as my father drilled into me. I wasn't lazy or broken or stupid…. I was raised by incompetent parents. That's all.
It isn't my fault. I had simply never been taught about pelvic floor muscles.
One thing that experience taught me is that punishment never solves the problem- it only teaches the child to hide their problems. Which is just sad in my book.
Well I have great control of my pelvic floor muscles now and my son will be taught with compassion to control his own muscles.
My parents may have tortured, humiliated, and guilted me but that's not an indication of how my son will be raised.
Create your life.
Hold yourself accountable for how you treat yourself and your children.
When you use diapers on children they become desensitized to the process of peeing/pooping and never form the physical-mental bond to the muscles that allow control of elimination.
This fact really hit me.
I have memories of being very young yet 'old' for still wetting my bed.
My father would put my urine stained mattress out on the side of the garage for the 'whole' neighborhood to see what a 'bad' child I was when I did wet the bed. Plus he 'spanked' me.
One year I got a waterbed. I loved it because it had a cubby under it that I would hang out in. At this time I still wet the bed.
My parents then got a mat that they told me I had to lay on. When it sensed moisture it would send an electric shock through the mat. To put it mildly- those shocks hurt. It went off sometimes even when I was dry.
The torture did nothing to help me strengthen my pelvic floor muscles so I still wet the bed. The shocks left red welts on my lower back, butt, and thighs.
My parents didn't care that it hurt me.
It got to the point where I got mild anxiety attacks at the thought of sleeping at night on that mat. The pain, the humiliation, and the beatings were… traumatic.
That is until the day I snuck sheets into my room. I remember laying there with my heart racing. Laying ever so still… terrified of being shocked again even when dry. The house grew quiet. I waited for a bit longer, trying not to move (which was really hard to do on a waterbed). Finally I summoned the courage to roll off the mat (I found that to be the best way not to get shocked).
You see, my father would come in early each morning and run his hand under the mat to be sure it was dry. (When I first got the mat I had simply flopped the mat off the edge of the bed. After a few beatings I stopped and just dealt with the pain of the mat.) I took the sheets out, 'un' made my bed, flopped the mat over the edge, and put the sheet down. I slept well for the first time in a long time.
When I heard an alarm go off (I don't remember who's but it wasn't mine) I very quickly took the wet sheet and dried the waterbed mat. I put the wet sheets under the bed, remade the bed, flopped the mat back on, and ever so slowly rolled on it. Usually just minutes before my father came in to do his inspection.
Since I did my own laundry it was really pretty easy to mix the urine soaked sheet in with my own clothes. And so it went until my father was convinced that I had stopped wetting the bed.
The truth is that I wet the bed well into my teens. I didn't fully gain control of my pelvic floor muscles until after I had gotten my drivers permit.
So here I am at 25 years old and for the first time realizing that I'm not retarded as my father drilled into me. I wasn't lazy or broken or stupid…. I was raised by incompetent parents. That's all.
It isn't my fault. I had simply never been taught about pelvic floor muscles.
One thing that experience taught me is that punishment never solves the problem- it only teaches the child to hide their problems. Which is just sad in my book.
Well I have great control of my pelvic floor muscles now and my son will be taught with compassion to control his own muscles.
My parents may have tortured, humiliated, and guilted me but that's not an indication of how my son will be raised.
Create your life.
Hold yourself accountable for how you treat yourself and your children.
Comments
Post a Comment