Violent Thoughts

I have found that the hardest part of being a victim of abuse is that you can never escape the violent memories or residual thoughts. That is why I choose to question the thoughts, sometimes fight them, until they are no longer a part of me.

I slip up sometimes. I get short and rude. My words become harsh and I've still hit myself in the head when I get SUPER frustrated. But I've never hit my son. And I've never turned it into a scream fest. It has always been my frustration that I am not yet competent enough to get my message across to the other person and to fully comprehend their message.

I want to be a better person. And that means even the thoughts/memories of past times need to be left behind.

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